The letter that is so stupid only the Oklahoman would publish it

Part-time columnist Mike Jones of Oklahoma City is at it again, writing what is one of the dumbest letters the Oklahoman has ever run:

If government programs, bills and laws were named according to what their effects would be, the National Labor Relations Act would be the 'Union Members Can Force Employers to Pay Unreasonably High Wages and Provide Unreasonably Generous Benefits Which Will Cause Inflation Which Will Nullify the Pay Raises and Will Make it So Hard for American Companies to Compete with International Companies That Some Will Go Out of Business But Will Provide Lots of Union Money Being Donated to Democrat Politicians Act.'

Holy shit. It's stunning enough that someone actually believes this, and it's more shocking that someone felt like writing this letter using this childish rhetorical trick would be a good idea. The only thing that isn't shocking is that the Oklahoman decided to run it.

We'll skip addressing the lame and tired rhetorical element: it's childish and unsophisticated and no real newspaper would run this sort of thing. But the Oklahoman isn't a real newspaper. What's more interesting-- and pathetic-- is how Jones has chosen to describe the "programs, bills and laws" that he selected. For instance, let's look at the National Labor Relations Act, which founded the NLRB. It was founded in 1935 to "protect the rights of employees and employers, to encourage collective bargaining, and to curtail certain private sector labor and management practices, which can harm the general welfare of workers, businesses and the U.S. economy." These are all good things: in earlier times, the situation for workers wasn't ideal.

But for Jones, this meant that people could force employees to give "unreasonable" salaries and benefits, which just leads to inflation, businesses going under, and money being donated to "Democrat" politicians. It's almost laughable how stupid these claims are. A basic understanding of economics tells you that the most common type of inflation is the "demand-pull" variety-- the classic case of too much demand and not enough supply. What Jones is talking about, though is what is called "cost-push" inflation, and attempts to link unions to inflation have generally failed (except among the right-wing fringe. Which...). Indeed, in an excellent paper on inflation, it is made pretty clear (see footnote 11) how this doesn't quite happen how Mike Jones imagines.

And does anyone really think that American companies "can't compete" with international companies because of unions? Sure, American manufacturing has changed quite a bit as US companies have looked to places like China and Mexico and their cheap labor, but is that what Mike Jones wants? For American workers to make $2 an hour?? This sort of mentality is baffling. The rise of the middle class in the post-war era was due almost entirely to unions making sure that workers earned good wages and had good benefits.

But Mr Jones has a long history of ignoring reality for the sake of the plutocracy:

The Environmental Protection Act would be known as the 'Drive Conservative-Supporting Companies Out of Business Act.'

Wait. What? The EPA is out to get "conservative-supporting" companies? The EPA? Which was signed into law by Richard Nixon? This borders on paranoia.

This same name could be given to the Internal Revenue Service Restructuring and Reform Act.

Ugh.

The push for Common Core standards would be known as 'Let's Further Indoctrinate Public School Students to Become Atheistic Socialists Who Will Vote for Democrats.'

Really? So this thing that Jeb Bush supports is really part of a nefarious plan to "indoctrinate" students so they'll be atheists and socialists? And part of a ploy to get people to vote for Democrats? At some point, one has to look into whether Mr Jones is taking his meds. For him, everything is a giant conspiracy to get persecute conservatives and get people to vote Democrat. (Oh, and Mother Jones was right!)

The push for immigration reform would be known as 'Let’s Encourage Illegal Immigrants Because Most of Them Would Vote for Democrats.'

See?! This is nuts. (Also, notice how he's even lost his focus: earlier he was talking about "programs, bills and laws" and now it's morphed into just "any political or social movement that I want to talk about"-- and, of course, these are all part of the grand anti-conservative conspiracy.)

The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) would be known as the 'Drive Health Insurance Companies Out of Business and Lower the Quality of Health Care and Raise the Average Citizen's Costs by Forcing Him to Choose Between Paying the Entire Doctor Bill or the Entire Hospital Bill Out of His Own Pocket Act.'

This is priceless-- notice how he has to clarify that the Affordable Care Act is better known by a pejorative, and then he launches into his stupid made-up name.

And man, is it stupid. Let's see-- are health insurance companies going out of business. A search for headlines shows a lot of right-wing websites claiming it's bound to happen, but we know how they have been about predictions of late. And we've talked about the pre-ACA situation already. The greatest healthcare in the world? Puh-lease. But then, I don't even get the last part-- raising costs by "forcing him to choose" between paying the entire doctor or hospital bill out of pocket? Does that even make sense to anyone? Does he imagine that under the ACA, a guy does to a hospital-- which, I guess, charges him?-- and then sees a doctor-- who has his own fees?-- and then some private insurer says that it will only pay for one?

Truly. Mike Jones is an idiot. He concludes:

This no-win choice is exactly what will happen when the waivers expire. Why the waivers? Ask Abraham Lincoln. He said the quickest way to get rid of a bad law is to enforce it strictly.

Wait. Waivers? Why are we talking about waivers? Was he talking about waivers before??!? What the fuck is this. And @T$23t4cr3q2!@#E#! Abe Lincoln?!? As usual, idiot writers to the Oklahoman just make shit up when it comes to quoting people. Does the Oklahoman care? No. Hell, if Rush said it, it's good enough for the lazy, incurious, dull-witted editors of the state's largest newspaper.

Why people like Mike Jones continue to be published is a mystery. He's an embarrassment to the state. But then again, so is the Oklahoman.